Yet again, in a Whatsapp chat someone asked “Can we keep this space for organising events rather than chatter?” and it had a toxic effect on me. This isn’t a turn of phrase. I mean that it made me feel deeply anxious and uncomfortable. The reason for this is simple. Whatsapp, before it was bought by Facebook was a chatroom for friends, and friends of friends, whom we met in the physical world. We had the desire to stay connected when we weren’t in the same personal space.

Today people use Whatsapp to organise events but it’s awful for that purpose. It’s awful because it has no calendar function. It’s awful because it has no built in participation logic. It doesn’t have “I’m coming” or “maybe” or “not this time”. It doesn’t have a built in way of sharing photos.

Plenty of Specialists

Luma, Meetup, Facebook and Strava have all of these functionalities, and they are built for organising and sharing events in a clean and tidy manner.

Whatsapp, on the other hand is just a chatroom app, for bilateral, and multilateral conversations. The issue is that we can’t have multilateral chats because that’s too noisy in a group chat, because we’re meant to keep whatsapp for event info, and nothing else.

The irony is that it’s through conversations that you come up with projects for events, and find mutual interests. It’s through conversations that you go from “I should go to this event but I’m too lazy” to actually showing up. It’s through online conversations that the lure of meeting in person forms.

A Town Specific Chat

Keep in mind that finding an event to participate in, filled with strangers is easy. Look at event listings, and then just turn up.

The niche of having a town specific chat isn’t to say “I want to do A, anyone want to join?” because, more often than not, no one does. Why would they? People aren’t that spontaneous and they often already have plans.

For me, the value of a town based chat is to converse with people online, and then regularly meet in person. For me the social bond is tightened through online conversations between offline meetings.

The cruel paradox is that you finally meet people in person, by going on hikes, on walks, to pub events and more, and extroverted, charismatic individuals will mmonopolise conversations, and when you attempt to talk, no one notices. No one listens.

If you meet people once, at an event, and then never again, then the charismatic extrovert will exist within the minds of others, but the silent introvert will not.

Using Whatsapp as a chatroom, rather than for events only, levels the playing field, and makes introverts or textroverts more visible, more likely to establish stronger links in subsequent events and meetups.

The Underlying Problem

In my eyes Facebook should never have been allowed to buy Whatsapp, especially given its history. My use of Whatsapp is built on me ignoring my moral compass. If people used Whatsapp as a chatroom, then I would have less to object about. When people, every few weeks, say, "Could we keep the conversation just for events, and I have a sense of anxiety, there is a physical and emotional cost to using Whatsapp.

The Cost of Dumping Whatsapp

For years I used Whatsapp for the copropriété group and nothing else. I had a strong desire to dump it as soon as FB purchased it. Other people don’t feel as strongly as I do. FB has a monopoly therefore I must compromise to fit within society. I also have to adapt my expectations and needs to fit in with mid to late adopters and what they want.

Three Issues

  • I don’t want to use Whatsapp because it is owned by Facebook

  • I don’t want to use Whatsapp because we end up with hundreds of event chats for one time events that are locked within a day of the event ending

  • I find it upsetting when people want to prevent conversations from taking place. We are not all married, with a vibrant social life, and little free time. Social apps, to me, should cater to those dealing with solitude, not those with an ebbulient personal life. Social apps should be a parachute against solitude and isolation. The fact that they amplify solitude and isolation is a point against using them.

And Finally

I loved Whatsapp before it was bought by Facebook. It was a place to chat with friends, family, and colleagues. When Facebook bought it, it became a place to flee. I fled to Signal, but no one else did.

When Whatsapp became part of the Facebook Monopoly we had two choices, give up on being social, or compromise on our moral compass. Now I use Whatsapp due to me compromising on my sense of morality.

When people say “Let’s not chat so much” that compromise was for nothing, since we’re not being social anyway.

And Finally, if I could turn off my moral objection to using Facebook owned Whatsapp I would be happier using the app.